A day at the hotsprings
by ShowTime
Summary: After training all day, Kakashi tells team 7 to go relax at the hot springs. Gee, I wonder what could possibly go wrong, or right, for that matter.
1. A day at the hotsprings

I don't own Naruto. If I did... well, Kishimoto is doing a good job, but if he faulters, I'll be ready to go!

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It was a beautiful day in the Hidden Leaf Village. The birds were singing, the sky was blue, the drug dealers were dealing. It was an overall very nice peaceful day. We find our hyperactive blonde ninja at one of the training grounds, laying on the ground, exhausted.

"Man, Kakashi-sensei. What's gotten into you lately?" The blonde asked between gasping breathes. "I can hardly move a muscle!"

"Yeah, sensei! What gives?" said a female ninja with pink hair.

"Well.." the masked ninja paused for a moment. "I just thought you guys could handle it. Perhaps I was mistaken." He smiled. "Sasuke doesn't seem to be complaining, does he?"

"THAT'S BECAUSE HE PASSED OUT 10 MINUTES AGO!" Naruto yelled, jumping to his feet.

"Why Naruto, I thought you could hardly move a muscle." Kakashi smiled again, his eye curving upwards as he did so.

"I.. well..." he stuttered, covering up the front of his pants, "It's not what it looks like!"

"Of course it's not." The silver-haired jounin started to walk away. "Training is done for the day. Why don't you all go relax at the hotsprings? We'll meet back here tomorrow around oh... 9 AM." With that he dissapeared in poof of smoke.

'_Alright! We get to go to the hotsprings. Maybe we can see Sakura naked. Ohhh that'd be so awes-_'

"NARUTO!" Shouted a voice.

"Huh?" He said, turning around to face Sakura. "What did you say? I wasn't paying attention."

"I said, lets get ready to go to the hotsprings, and could you please pick up Sasuke off the ground."

"Oh I don't know, he seems rather cute laying uncouncious on the ground, I kind of like him more that way, hehe."

"NARUTO! PICK SASUKE UP RIGHT NOW!"

"Ahh!" The blonde ninja scrambled out of the way of a flying kunai and knelt by Sasuke and picked him up, piggyback style.

"Are you happy, Sakura-chan?" He said, sticking his tongue out at her.

'_Wow, I never knew how hot that would look. Just image if they were naked!_' "Ugh," Sakura grumbled, rubbing her (charmingly large) forehead. Sometimes her inner self could be such a pain.

"Yes Naruto, now lets go."

"YEAH!" Naruto shouted as he raced past her and onto the trail that lead to the hotsprings.

"He needs to die a very painful death for being so energetic." Sakura spoke to herself. '_But not after we get the chance to see his -_' 

"SHUT UP!" And with that Sakura ran after Naruto, unaware of what lay in wait for them at the hotsprings.

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Next chapter... hmm.. I think Hinata and Kiba will make an apperance, maybe even Shino. Don't hold me to that though... but... we'll see.


	2. Into the hotsprings

I don't own Naruto. If I did... well, Kishimoto is doing a good job, but if he faulters, I'll be ready to go!

"CANNON BALL!" Shouted Naruto Uzumaki as he jumped into the air while pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms around them, landing into the pool of hot water.

Sakura sighed, glancing at the tall wooden fence that seperated the males from the females. "Three... two... one...-"

"HOT HOT HOT!" Yelled Naruto as he bolted out of the water and onto the ground. "WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME IT'D BE SO HOT?!"

Sakura twitched, '_I swear he can be such an idiot... how did he ever become a ninja? Who'd he have to sleep with to pass the... Oh man, him and Iruka?!_' She sighed and slumped down so that the water went up to her chin. "At least _I _can relax in here. Those poor... poor bastards over there."

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"Hey idiot, what are you doing laying naked on the ground?" Said a boy with a dog right by his feet.

"Oh hey Kiba, Akamaru." Naruto said, sitting up. "I was just cooling off. That water is HOT!" Naruto said, glaring at the water.

"Naruto..."

"Hm?"

"Ugh... never mind." Kiba shook his head and removed his towel, putting it up on a chair, away from the water splashed up from Naruto's earlier cannon ball. He then strode over to the edge of the hotspring and slowly lowered himself in.

"You see Naruto? This is how you enter, nice and slow. You gotta ease yourself in."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I get it. Iruka told me the same thing the first time we-"

"Had sex?" Kiba laughed.

"NO! Went to the hotsprings, you pervert!" Naruto blushed and slowly entered the water this time, sitting next to Kiba.

"So where's Hinata and that other guy? Shino."

"Ah, well.. Hinata is on the other side," Kiba said, pointing to the wooden fence, "and Shino is too busy hunting down water bettles, so I don't think he'll be joining us anytime soon." Kiba looked around, then grinned.

"Hey Naruto, since we are the only ones around, wanna peek on the girls?"

Naruto frowned. "Is everyone turning into a pervert these days?!"

"Ah, come on Naruto.. don't tell me you're gay. Are you?" Kiba grinned again.

"N-No, of course not! I mean just because Sasuke and I touch eachother at night doesn't make us gay!"

Kiba looked shocked. '_That stoic ice princess? Doing **that**.. with Naruto?! Naw, he's yanking my chain._'

"So Naruto, what exactly does that make you guys then?" Kiba inquired, waiting for his response.

The blonde put a hand to his chin, stroking it in thought. "It makes us... sneaky." He stated with a grin of his face.

"No, I'm pretty sure it makes you gay."

Naruto frowned. "It does not make us g-"

"Hey dobe, Kiba." Sasuke said, walking out of the changing room and onto the flat rock surface surrounding the hotsprings. "What were you talking about?"

"Hey Sasuke!" Kiba waved a hand at him. "We were just talkin about you, as a matter of fact."

"Oh?" Sasuke lifted an eyebrow. "About me?" Sasuke glanced over at Naruto as he took off his towel and put it down on another chair. He then moved his way to the pool of hot water and sat down on the stone bench opposite of the other two. He couldn't tell if Naruto's face was red because he was blushing or if it was just because he was becoming overheated. Sasuke decided to find out.

"Hey dobe, catch a good glimpse?" Sasuke asked, waiting for the blonde's reaction, which suprisingly, didn't come. "Hey... Naruto... you okay?" Sasuke looked from Naruto to Kiba, then back to Naruto.

"Uh, Naruto..." Kiba trailed off, glancing back at Sasuke and nodding, he scooped up Naruto and hopped out of the water, onto the dry rock flooring. He put his head against Naruto's chest, feeling a strong heartbeat. "I think he'll be alright Sasuke. I'll go get him some water, I think he may be a little dehydrated. You guys have been training pretty hard lately, right?"

"Yeah, you go do that. I'll keep an eye on him." With a nod, Kiba started to walk off, Akamaru following right behind him.

"Hey dog-boy." Sasuke said, which caused Kiba to turn around. "Don't forget your towel."

"Haha... yeah, right... my towel." Kiba said laughing while walking over to his towel and wrapping it around his waist.

"What an idiot." Sasuke said, looking down at his teammate and poking him in the side. "Speaking of idiots. What kind of a ninja passes out in the hotsprings?"

"What kind of idiot passes out while training?" Said the blonde haired boy, opening up one eye.

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. "Tch, Orochimaru has done it once."

"Yeah, well Orochimaru touches little boys!" The blonde retorted.

"Yeah, well I touch littl- Er... damn you Naruto." Sasuke growled.

"Hahaha! Sasuke to- Ah!" Naruto screamed and jumped up as a bucket of ice cold water was poured on his face."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME?!

"I think you're doing a fine job of that yourself, Naruto." Said Kiba, sitting down and handing him a bottle of water. "Here, drink up bitch."

Naruto glared at Kiba but accepted the water. He took a big long swig of the ice cold water before putting it down and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"The night is still young guys," Kiba grinned. "I took a quick peek on the other side before I got your water. Hinata and Sakura are the only ones over there. Why don't we drop by and say hi."

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Next chapter... Into the hotsprings part two. Mwhahahahahaha...ha... ha


	3. A break from the story

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah I don't own Naruto. Now onto more pressing matters. I'm too busy writing a whole bunch of other stuff on AFF, I haven't forgotten about this fic.. but I simply don't care. Alas, I figure I might as well give you people a taste of gold. Below is from a thread on IMDB, Things the Naruto Cast Would Never Say. Everything below is what I've wrote. Now it obviously doesn't follow a story-like pattern, like..  
Sasuke glanced around the field, wiping the perspiration off his forehead with the back of his forearm, blah blah blah, you get the point. It's 3:49 AM I'm not going to explain everything.  
It'll be more like:(Arches an eyebrow) Bitch, where is my money?**

Have fun. This "chapter" is meant to be funny, a break from the norm. Go smoke some.. whatever, and read!  
And by the by, since I can't use an asterisk for emote, so () will have to do. Again, this'll be the only "chapter" I'll do this. It's meant to be funny, not to be taken serious in the least.  
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Kakashi: Naruto, you can't be eating veggies all day. Get some ramen in your diet!

Kakashi: Wow, I must be the first one here. 

Naruto: Mmmmm veggies!

Naruto: Sakura, move it! I can't see Sasuke's pretty face.  
Sasuke: It's okay guys, I'll help you, you help me, we'll be one big happy family. YAY! 

Naruto: I just want to sit down, relax, and take a quiet nap. You coming Sasuke? 

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Shikamaru: You're right Temari, I should listen to you more. You afterall, know best, as I am only a simple man.

Shikamaru: MAN! THIS IS FUN!!!!

Neji: I don't get it, what's the big deal about fate and destiny anyways?

Kiba: I like cats much better than dogs. 

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Orochimaru (looking up at Kabuto): It's time to destroy the Leaf village.   
Kabuto: Huh? Did you say something bitch?  
Orochimaru: No... I'm sorry.  
Kabuto: Thought so, now get back down there.

Naruto and Sasuke doing their walking up trees training   
Sasuke: Hey, uh... Naruto. What did Sakura tell you?  
Naruto whispering to Sasuke: I'll tell you only if you ...  
Sasuke eyes bulge out: O-okay..

5 minutes later

Naruto: More tea Sasuke?  
Sasuke (all dressed up like a girl): Yes please. 

Orochimaru (singing in the shower): I feel like a woman!  
Kabuto (standing behind him): Really? I guess those pills are finally taking effect.

Sai: sniffle Y-you know... I... I always get so emotional at weddings.  
Gai: Put a cork in it! No one cares... stupid Youth...  
Kakashi: Aww man, it just burns me up when Gai acts all cool like that! 

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Neji: Lee! Jump on my back! It's for training wink (think of Kakashi and Gai's team leaving the Wind Country)

Sakura: Quick Naruto, we can beat em! HOP ON!

Gai: Gai makes that bionic sound. You know the one, nananananana, nanananananana.  
Kakashi (still on his back): Er, that's not what's making th- er, nevermind... 

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This 1 is for the Hinata and Naruto faithful, may you all burn in the firey pits of... oh wait, hell doesn't exist never mind.

Naruto: Cmon Hinata, lets spar! I need more practice against the Byakuugan   
Hinata: O-okay. fighting stance R-R-Ready?  
Naruto: Lets GO! charges at her  
Hinata: H-here I go... SEXY NO JUTSU  
Naruto: Eyes bulge out, mouth drops  
Hinata: What's wrong Naruto?   
Naruto: sits down N-nothing... I just... can't stand up right now.

Chouji: Hey Ino, I think I've got the body manipulation down, wanna try it out?

Genma: Tsunade was right, this lollipop is much better than a plain ol' toothpick. 

Kakashi (In all green): HA! I just did 1500 laps around Konoha Gai, I FINALLY BEAT YOU!  
Gai (In Kakashi's outfit): Huh? Did you say something?  
Kakashi: Oooooooooooo him acting so cool just burns me up!

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Hinata in the hot springs with Naruto

Hinata (in a seductive voice): You know Naruto trails hand under the water I've never been with a man before.  
Naruto (laughing): That's the same thing that Sakura said the first time we... Hinata? Where'd you go?

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Sasuke: I can't believe it's not butter!  
Sakura: BELIEVE IT!  
Naruto: Stop with that stupid saying already, jeesh.

Haku in the middle of a fight with Naruto and Sasuke

Haku: Woah woah woah hold on! You mean it's _not_ butter?! Dodges kunai, then huggles the 'I can't believe it's not butter' product Isshhh soo cute, imma name you Zabuza and just eat you al- oh... we are still on camera? Oh shit, runs away

Anyone who heard what George Bush said a few days ago (July 19th, 2006) should be pissing their pants after reading that

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Random girl #1: Hey Naruto, can I sit by you?  
Naruto: No.  
Random girl #2: Hey Naruto, can I sit by you?  
Naruto: No.  
Random girl #3: Hey Naruto, can I -  
Naruto: SASUKE! I KNOW IT'S YOU!   
Sasuke (while walking in through the door) Did you say something dobe?  
Naruto: Wah...Wah...?! looks between girl #3 and Sasuke, then runs out of the classroom crying like a little girl  
Sasuke: Hahahaha, I love playing jokes, thanks for going along Sakura   
Sakura: But I'm right here Sasuke.  
Sasuke: Huh?  
Random girl #3: Tehehehe changes back into Itachi. Yeah, Orochimaru left Akatsuki after I played that joke on him as well.  
Sakura: You..!   
Sasuke: Bastard!  
Itachi: Puts another coat of purple on his finger nails Hm? Did you say something? No hablo estupido

Scene switches to someone crying on a couch.

???: And then... and then she turned into a guy.. and... and it was Itachi! breaks down and cries No one will ever l-love meeeeee!  
Kabuto: Awww, poor Orochimaru. Well, what I sugg- oh.. times up, sorry. Get out.

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Tsunade: Gambling and drinking, those are some of the worse things you could do to yourself.

Orochimaru: Help control the pet population. Get your pets spade or neutered.

Itachi: Orochimaru doesn't love me. He only wants me for my body. 

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Naruto, after coming back from Sand in Naruto Shippuuden

Naruto: Hey, is that Shino?! WHAT IS UP MY BROTHA!  
Shino (wearing lots of bling, takes off sun glasses): Yo

Whenever Naruto becomes the Hokage

Ebisu: I KNEW HE'D DO IT! DIDN'T I TELL YOU ALL?! Everyone, pay up!  
Naruto: Huh?  
Ebisu: Well, everyone bet that you'd amount to nothing or die before you ever became Hokage, except for me!  
Naruto: WHAT?!  
Kakashi: Yeah.. sorry Naruto, but damn... how'd you finally convince Kishimoto to write this in? I mean you suck so bad.  
Naruto: Well... I... you don't have to be so... mean.  
Tsunade: Come on Naruto, even I thought you wouldn't make it past the 4th volume, I mean Haku _should_ have killed you.  
Naruto (runs off crying): I don't wanna be Hokage anymore!

In a Konoha forest  
Naruto runs past something that makes him freeze in place. He turns to see none other then Kiba and Hinata.. making out.

Naruto: NO!!! You said you loved me  
Kiba: Naruto.. I CAN EXPLAIN!

Fin

Kishimoto: The perfect ending, mwhahahahahahahaha.

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Udon: Shut up Konohamaru, we are doing things my way from now on. GOT IT?! We'll have a new idol too... his name... Chouji.

Naruto (dodging objects thrown at his head): I ONLY PEEKED ONCE I SWEAR! (knife goes whizzing by) S-Sakura, they have pills for this you know! 

Sakura: I AM NOT PMS'ING! And what were you doing peeking at Hinata anyways? Word on the street is that she'll get down and dirty with anyone!

Naruto (With a dreamy look in his eyes): (Sighs) Yeah... I can't help it alright! (Storms outta the house)

Later that night

Naruto: Ohhh Hinata... Ohhh you're soo good at this. Ughnn!

Hinata: (Licks lips, sweat streaming down her face) Wow Naruto, I never knew you enjoyed gardening so much! 

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Ebisu: Listen up Konohamaru! You are terrible! I hate and despise you. You will never amount to anything. You wil- (knock on the door) Yes? 

3rd Hokage: You do know that is a 2 way mirror right? 

(Ebisu falters): Er... so as I was saying. Keep following my orders and you'll be the best prostitute in all the lands.

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Shikamaru: Man... I don't get it!

Naruto: It's quite simple, actually... the key is to put the square object into the square opening. 

Shikamaru: Woah woah woah... There is a key involved? 

Naruto: Man... I really hate stupid people. 

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Asuma: Man, thank God for Nicorette.

Temari: I always load up on beans before every battle.

Shikamaru: The wise shinobi always pays attention to th- oh a penny!

Chouji: No thanks, I'm on a diet.

Naruto: SASUKE-KUN! TAKE IT OFF BA-BY! 

Hinata: Easy Naruto. Put it back in your pants, no one wants to see that. 

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Sasuke: Aghh, this is so complicated! (stomps feet) WHY CAN'T I UNDERSTAND THIS?!  
Naruto: Because you touch yourself at night.  
Sasuke: Touché 

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Tayuya: Please guys, lets use our indoor voices. Thank you.

Kabuto: Hey Kimimaro, how do you feel?  
Kimimaro: Like a million bucks! I'm goin to Disney World!

Hinata just beat Shikamaru in Shogi 

Hinata: HA! I KNEW IT BITCH! Boo ya!  
Shikamaru: (Tears streaming down his face) NOO!!!  
Hinata: Pay up!  
Shikamaru: Fine... TRANSFORM!  
Hinata: Yeah... that's what I wanna see   
Shikamaru (Naruto): Hn.

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Naruto: Uhh Sasuke... I umm, I have something to tell you.  
Sasuke: (Glares) What did you do this time, dobe?  
Naruto: Ummm well you see... remember a couple weeks ago when we... well... you know, (blushes), ahh well... and you didn't use any condoms?  
Sasuke: (Starting to catch on) What are you getting at Naruto?  
Naruto: Well... I've been talking to the Kyuubi and it seems that I... that... SASUKE I'M PREGNANT!  
(Sasuke's eyes wide as saucers) 

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You...You're pregnant?!" Sasuke sputtered out.  
"Heh... yeah. What a suprise, eh?"  
"What the hell are we going to do?! What will other people say? I'm too young to be a-" Sasuke was cut off from a knock on the door.  
"Naruto! It's Sakura open up, I gotta tell you somethin."  
Sasuke and Naruto exchanged looks as Naruto walked over to the door. "What's she doin here?" Naruto mouthed to Sasuke as Sasuke shrugged. He had no idea.

As Naruto opened the door, Sakura burst through and ran him over.  
"Er, sorry Naruto but I really have to use your bathroom and mine doesn't work. I mean I really have to go bad, number 2 for s-" She stopped and turned her head when she noticed there was another presence in the room. "Oh hi Yusuke."  
"Wrong anime, Sakura."  
"Sawkay"  
"No..."   
"Vegeta?"  
Sasuke glared at her. "My names SASUKE!" He said, tears welling up in his eyes. "You never remember my name!"  
"There there, Sasuke." Naruto said, rubbing his back. "Let it all out, my little father-to-be."  
"Father to what?!" Sakura froze in her tracks.  
"Eh... it's a uh... pet name." Naruto said, scratching the back of his head and turning to Sasuke, trying to get him to go along with it.  
"Y-yeah.. a pet name... Naruto is right." Naruto grinned. "Of course I'm right! I do have an IQ over 200 you know. Our baby is going to be so-"   
"BABY?!" Sakura froze even more.  
"Uh.. Sakura.. don't you have to go to the bathroom or something?" Naruto said, trying his best to glare at her.  
"I think I just did." Said the kunoichi.  
"WHAT?!" Naruto and Sasuke both screamed in both shock and horror.  
"I'm kidding, bakas. So what's this I hear about 'our baby' and 'father-to-be' hmmm?"

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(Orochimaru stroking Sasuke's hair, singing) I'm a smooth criminal. (Slips some pills in a drink) Open up for the jesus juice.

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(Hinata to Naruto): On your knees bitch!

Naruto: But I uh-

Hinata: NOW!

(Naruto whinning): But I don't wanna get on my knees! 

Hinata (sternly): **Do it**

Naruto: (Gets on his knees) I can't believe I'm going through with this... (sniffle)

Hinata: You know you like it... besides... I enjoy having my bathroom scrubbed.

(Naruto scrubbing Hinata's bathroom floor, crying): I-I feel so... so (sniffle) dirty and used.

Hinata: Don't worry, after this we can shower. Believe it!

Naruto: You know I hate when you say that.

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(Naruto meeting Kakuzu for the first time): W-Who are you?!  
Kakuzu: I'm Rick James BITCH!

Ebisu: Everybody is Naru-toing everywhere!   
Konohamaru: Naru-toing?  
Ebisu: SO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS!   
Konohamaru: How would I know? I'm still in grade school  
(That was a lil FLCL spoof for ya) 

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Naruto in the hotsprings with Sasuke

(Naruto leans back and lets out a relaxed sigh): This feels so gooooood Sasuke

Sasuke: Hn... you seem to be enjoying this. We've been coming here a lot lately. Why?

(Naruto with a glazed look in his eyes): I just love coming here.. it feels so good, (shivers)

Sasuke (thinking.. the dobe looks so cute just laying there... his hair in his eyes like that.. his head tilted back like that.. his neck expo- er! Bad Sasuke! Think happy thoughts... death to Itachi... mmmm.. death to ramen... good): Eh.. Naruto... what's with the bubbles coming up over there? (Sasuke points to the bubbles coming up by Naruto's crotch)

Naruto (with a confused yet still glazed-over look in his eyes): Hm? What do you me-ahhh! YES!

(Sasuke growing angry): Are you farting in here?!

(Naruto deeply breathing): N-no... (snickers)

(Sasuke scowls and jumps infront of Naruto's crotch area, only to find something already there): WHAT?! Sakura... you were... under there this whole time?!

Sakura: Hehe... sorry Sasuke.

Sasuke: Wait a minute... you're not Sakura...

Sakura: You're right... (henges into Hinata) I-it's m-me. Hinata

(Sasuke glares): One last try before you become a speck on my foot

(Hinata glances over at Naruto, who nods. She then drops the hengre): It's me, Sasuke-san.

Sasuke: LEE?! (looks at Naruto) Lee?! You had LEE! (points at Lee) down there?! (points to the water by Naruto's crotch) And not me?! (points to self)

Naruto: Because Lee (points at Lee) gives better (points at his head) than you (points at Sasuke)

Sasuke: NARUTO!

Naruto and Lee embrace: We are as God made us!

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Suigetsu: You know Sasuke, after a long day in the tank, I just wanna bend you over and- hold on.. (sits down)  
Karin: What the hell is your problem? (Looks down) Oh..  
Sasuke (bending over): This is the last time we stop for _this_

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(For Naruto's birthday)  
Sakura and Lee: Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu  
Tenten and Ino: Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu   
Shizune and Iruka: Happy birthday dear Narutoooooooooooooo  
Lee, Neji, Tenten, Shino, Kiba and Akamaru, Shino, Iruka, Kakashi (reluctantly), Sakura, Ino, Chouji (can't have cake unless he sings), Shikamaru (forced to sing because Temari enjoys him doing things that are troublesome), Tsunade, Shizune, Kankurou, and Temari (Gaara isn't singing because Naruto already knows he cares): Happy birthday to youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!! (cheering)  
(Cake pops open to reveal Sasuke, naked): And many moreeee!

Drunken Lee: Y'know Saskura... I really (hic) love you! (jumps on the person's back)   
Neji: Lee... that better be a banana... 

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Naruto (Running up to Jiraiya, Sasuke in tow): Hey Jiraiya! Me and Sasuke are gonna go to the zoo! Do you wanna go to the zoo?!

Jiraiya: Eh.. what? The zoo?... Eh, fuck that... I'm not fucking going to the zoo... what are you gay? (Long pause) Naruto..

Naruto (stops sucking on Sasuke's... popsicle): Mm what? (Wipes his mouth) The white stuff is definitely the best part. 

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Shikamaru (To Chouji): Yeah, a survey asked me just the other day: "What's your favorite subject?" I replied, "One who doesn't scream." You shoulda saw the look on their face, it was as if I punched a baby in the face.

Udon (Describing the greatest fight in anime history): You know Konohamaru, the battle between Motoko Kusanagi and the tank in Ghost in the Shell was very intense. It's really exciting but a bit disturbing toward the end of it.

Konohamaru: Define disturbing - I don't mean from the dictionary, I mean what do you find disturbing?

Udon: Something that gives me a feeling that cannot be expressed. I don't know, the only way I could describe that feeling is disturbing, not awful or sad but just unnatural. Well, the best way would be to explain what happened, but pretty much Motoko takes on a robotic tank and near the end of it she rips her clothing off in order to use her thermal optic camo, she runs toward it and jumps on it's top. She then attempts to rip open the hatch that leads into the tank and when she begins to her camo shorts out and you can see whats happening to her body. Her bodys muscles begin to pump like water and her left arms skin begins to tear off because she's pulling so hard on it. Then her back begins poping in places and her arms stretch out like rubber, just when it seems like she may open it her arms give out and her body shatters. She's then thrown off the tank and picked up by its claw which attempts to smash her skull in. The music playing during the scene is really creepy too and it's rather disturbing watching her body shred up like that. I mean she pretty much rips her arm off and the other one shatters. While she's pulling on the hatch her muscles explode from her skin and looks plain disturbing. It made me feel like turning away or turning off the dvd but I couldn't, too good of a movie.

Konohamaru: That sounds pretty exciting, but the Greatest fight ever is between a robot and a tank, I dunno about that

Udon: Maybe not the best but it sure was memorable. 

Konohamaru: It does sound pretty memorable, but so was my fight with the twinkies this morning, wasn't the greatest fight ever 

Udon: I've never fought with a twinkie before... They just don't stand a chance.

Konohamaru: Obviously you've never battled with a veteran twinkie before.

Shikamaru: Oi, if someone acts like an idiot it is only expected that I will see it and chide them in articulately or otherwise.

As for sexual preference, I prefer the touch of a female, one of the most cherished memories is my first slow dance.

Naruto: Cherished because it was the only one

(Sakura on an online dating service, in their forums)

(Picture high bandwidth thread) 

PinkFuzzy69/Hot4Blondes (Sakura): Well, there goes my fun for the weekend, why the hell would I want to post my picture up here? Just so people can oogly all over me, hmph

On second thought... no wait, I won't, I'm too good for you people.

Sakura (waiting impatienly infront of Sasuke's house): It takes forever for him to get ready!

Naruto: Well Sakura-chan, that's because Kakashi-sensei has to jerk off, which only takes him 2-3 min, but then he sleeps, and eats, and poops, and showers, eats again, then gets here. I've got his schedule down to plus or minus three seconds. 

Sakura: Oh my -

Sasuke: God, dobe, she was talking about me. (Fluffs his hair back for dramatics)

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Jiraiya: We need to get the erotica outta the classroom! These (gestures to audience full of academy students) fine young ninja-to-be will be slaughtered, yes.. that's right. Slaughtered out in the battlefield, all because they're reading some filthy erotica.

Sakura: That's right. As you all know, Kakashi was killed last month for that very reason. He was caught one-handed ladies and gentlemen! Please, ask yourselves: how much damage can you do with only one free hand? 

Random (male) student: What if you use two?

Sakura: Then follow me home. We'll um... work on it together

Random (male) student #2: What if you don't use your hands?

(Silence) 

Random (male) student #2: I'm talking about the power of the mind mother fuckers! I-I don't... I don't su- gah! I hate you guys! 

Random (male) student #1: Sakura is it true you have herpes? 

Sakura: Again, you'll have to follow me home and find out.

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**AN: I hope you enjoyed. Comments are appreciated. Not needed... well, they're somewhat needed. I'll whore myself out to every nerd if that's what it takes.**


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